My NDE Experience

I am 60 years old now, and have a BA, MA, & Psy.D. degree. I report this, not to brag, but to indicate a relatively stable, intelligent mind. The NDE occurred back in 1984. I was under tremendous stressors that included the loss of my health, loss of my significant other, and loss of my ability to perform my occupation. At that time, I was a woman in a male dominated field; over-the-road semi truck driver - and I loved it! The doctors had told me that I could never drive again. I was in constant agonizing pain, and I prayed for GOD to take me home. I was not suicidal, and I was not physically "near death," but my soul, and my spirit were! The even occurred in my own home with no witnesses. I found myself on the floor seeing a blinding white light that completely filled the room. That was all that I saw, but I knew instantly that the light was Jesus. An indescribable feeling washed over me in tremendous waves. Suddenly (and for the first time in my life) I felt God's AGAPE LOVE. I experienced the KNOWING that I was unconditionally loved. HE loved me, and HE loved me just the way I was. I did not have to change, get better, do better or anything else because HIS LOVE was not based on what I "did," but simply who I was - and I KNEW this beautiful SPIRIT was always going to love me, no matter what. This event transpired and transformed my life from that day forward. My unbridled joy and excitement were more than I could handle rationally and resulted in a hospital stay with a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. Since religiosity is noted as a classic symptom of this disorder, everyone around me dismissed the NDE as a part of my psychosis. It was not. Since then I have had several dreams that reinforced this event, at least to me. More than anything else, I would describe what happened as a "spiritua/soul resurrection." Since then, I met and married a wonderful soul that I often refer to as my "Jesus-in-skin." He supported me fully when I returned to school at the ripe old age of 48. Since I was a high-school drop-out, it was extremely rough, but, as an undergraduate, I graduated summa cum laude and went on then to obtain both a masters and doctoral degree in psychology. Finally, I returned to Arkansas where I was born. I had left home and moved away 40 years ago, and I never expected to return. I came from an extremely abusive home, and was mostly estranged from my very dysfunctional family. This has slowly healed as we shared stories, laughter, tears, and love together. In fact, my youngest sister asked me in 1989 what made me so "nice" now. It was that NDE.

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